Understanding covert narcissism is key to processing what you have been through. The trauma bond and psychological abuse may leave you confused and broken. It is not your fault. This wasn't a normal breakup or relationship for you. It will take much more time to heal from the abuse of the narcissist than you are prepared for. Give yourself compassion during this process. You are not alone. Narcissists are robotic. They repeat the same cycle of abuse over and over from partner to partner. It is shocking to see the private details of your relationship in the videos below. You may still be in disbelief, but that is normal. The key to healing is to understand you fell in love with a lie. The fantasy that they sold you, the girl you thought you knew, was all just a mask worn by a very sick person. Though they may have convienced you that you deserve their abuse, you do not. There is nothing you could have done to change the outcome. They were always going to exploit, abuse, and discard you.
― M. Wakefield
This two part video will help you understand what you've been through.
Understanding why you were targeted.
— Karen Salmansohn
– Karla Grimes
If you find yourself struggling to comprehend what happened, feeling cloudy and stuck, that is normal.
Don't spend too long recalling every detail.
Trying to make sense of a crazy person will drive you insane.
You can't change what happened, but now you have the tools and knowledge to never suffer another toxic relationship again.